Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Releasing the Wait

Memories...serve as a teaching tool to my spirit.  Many things in life can teach...as if the child I was knew something I've somehow forgotten... 

I think back to my 5 year old self.  Sitting on the hill in the school playground...the yard emptied out...all the children went home...I sat waiting for my babysitter...she never showed.  I thought I'd be stuck on that hill forever...that my tummy would get hungry and my eyes would get sleepy and the bugs would crawl all over me...forever.  I knew I couldn't start the trek home alone.  I was instructed to wait, and so I did.  Minutes felt like hours to my 5 year old perception.  I felt alone and forgotten.  Mummy's instruction played over and over in my mind...don't ever leave on your own...and so I waited.  

such a serious faceWould I ever be rescued?  Should I fumble my way home?  Get lost...get in trouble?  But I didn't know the direction of home...and I didn't know how to cross the street...and I didn't know how to rescue myself.  So I waited.  

I could hear her voice before I could see her fear stricken eyes.  It echoed off the brown brick walls...past the basketball nets and through the hopscotch pads.  It spoke authority and I knew I could run down the hill and go home now.  Mummy, I'm here!  I've been waiting!  Her pupils wide...unable to blink from fear. She was more afraid than I was.  But I was rescued and the wait was over and we went home...

I still don't really know how to rescue myself most days.  And I hear the instruction clearly in my head: Be still and know that I am God.  Just wait, Jenny.  Sit on the hill of waiting, enjoy the view...know that I'm on my way and that my timing is JUST in time!  

Some days I manage to doze off and the bugs are crawling all over me and I'm bored and ungrateful for what I have. I'm annoyed that I don't know the way...that I can't just figure this out for myself.   I wonder if God really knows what he's doing.  

I'm pacing in circles...treading water for what feels like too long...the pool is looking murky and my toes are shriveled...has it been hours or days now...I lost count.  Instead of waiting expectantly, knowing he'll come, I've begun to lose sight, stop listening, stop caring...that this is only for a little while.  My perception is not of eternal time where the hours and days are just a small blip on the screen...not knowing a hearty rhythm of life is just minutes away.  Where He'll lead me down a new path, away from this hill... to a place I've been waiting to go but couldn't find on my own.  But if I get up now and wander off I might lose my way...trying to hurry it along...figure it out for him because God, you don't seem to know what you're doing.  But he promises to rescue me and turn all things for good and complete exactly what he started...if I am still and I wait patiently his voice will break through the yard when it's time...not a second too late.  

Be confident of his perfect promises... the perfect timing ...the perfect way...  

If you've been waiting, then he's on his way...he knows where to find you...listen for his call and don't hesitate when it's time! 


Be still and know that I am God ~ Psalm 46:10

Be still in the presence of the Lord and wait patiently for him to act.  ~ Psalm 37:7

Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus ~ Philippians 1:6


(see picture at http://pinterest.com/pin/98938523037061173/)

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