Releasing the Preparation

I can feel the spirit-man growing. Like something inside of me is literally stretching and aching and being pulled like the fibers of a rubber band.  Like my heart might rip, blood pouring open.  I breathe... consciously... deeply.  Remind myself, over and over that He is in control of this.  This is a good thing! That His ways are indisputably better than my ways.

I long to have purpose...to know the reason I'm here.  But when the ideas seem endless and my mind can't find rest and all my efforts are fruitless and tiring and in vain then I stop and be still in His presence.  I don't need to know it all..right here in this moment.  That's why he's given me many days...many blessed and prosperous days to come to work out his glory in my life...in me and through me.

He says to me, seek FIRST My kingdom...who I am...where My heart is...what My Word says and commands and promises abundantly for you...how much I love you...how beautifully I see you...how fondly I love you, like a father looking upon his beloved, precious child...with pride and a desire to protect and love and GIVE, GIVE, GIVE.  Give you EVERYTHING  I possess.  But it can't all be right now.  Seek ME first...and ALL the desires of your heart will come to be.  Because the desires of YOUR heart will be melded with the desires of MY heart...My desires for your life...My desires for where I'll take you...for where I'm positioning you...for where you'll go and what you'll accomplish in MY name. My ways are above your ways, and My thoughts, above your own...above what you could ever think or hope for...(Isaiah 55:8, Ephesians 3:20)

Then it hits me...the stretching and growing I'm feeling...that is Him getting me ready.  Preparing my heart to receive His gifts, His glory.  To receive it all right now, without preparation would cause my heart to do just that...rip blood pouring open.  My mind could not conceive ..could not understand...could not contain it all.  It's too much...too good...too glorious for today.  

So I hold out my cup and He fills it for what I can ascertain for today...what I can absorb for today...and then a little more to stretch me...the cup overflows unable to be contained...stretching one rubber fiber at a time.  One small idea birthed at a time.

I trust...I wait...patiently, Jesus.  You are worth the wait.  You are worth the effort.  You are worth everything I own...everything I know.  I trust you with this fragile heart of mine.  With this stumbling and bruised body...with this bumbling tongue that I struggle daily to get under control...I trust you God to tame it...to bridle it...to bring me into your purpose for the days I have left here.  To love with all my heart...to speak words of life and love over your children...over this earth.  Over situations that your grace allows me to stumble upon.

I seek you...I wait...every fiber stretches in the wait...in preparation for your glory revealed.

(see picture at http://pinterest.com/pin/98938523037041867/)