Releasing Your Purpose

I knew waiting was part of it.  Being patient for the revelation.  I had done so much of that I started getting comfortable in the wait and then He said lets get up and go and I stood there for a minute.  I didn't understand until He brought the beautiful faces to mind.

Souls...spirits...different stories...but the same thread.  I think I was waiting for something so unfamiliar to show up...I didn't believe a purpose could just be pouring out into what was right in front of me...and had been for years.  

Be faithful with the little...the words pierced my heart and I could suddenly see.  I was resuscitated back to a living rhythm and could suddenly see all the beautifully complicated woven webs of life and struggle and precious souls that He had brought to my path...that I could love and encourage and help to set free with His words of truth.  

Hungry people...with ravenous appetites for more.  All I had to do was feed them what I already had...from the overflow of what He graciously and abundantly gives me everyday...and to those who were right before me...in my life...on my path.

With a shoulder shaking, belly releasing out loud laughing i stood dumbfounded...it was so simple...so obvious and I had missed it time and time again.    

If you're not careful, you can fall asleep in the thick soupy drone of the familiar...lose your vision...lose your interest...lose your mind...lose your way.  But when you really open your eyes then suddenly the monotonous morphs into the beauty of each privileged moment where trusts and tears and the bearing of raw and beautiful souls is bestowed upon you and you realize...this is the place where heaven meets earth.  The holiness kisses your brow...and you suddenly see that he's got you right where he wants you.  And it's not some romantic mysterious faraway land or exotic story like you might have thought. It's right here...right where you are...in your coffee stained slacks and your sunburned hands.  Its not neat and tidy and scrubbed sparkling...but its heavenly beautiful.  

To some it's nothing extraordinary...this beautiful purpose filled life looks frayed and dull. And it would...to eyes that have fallen asleep to the familiar...eyes that will struggle their way to the end of the story looking for a beautiful purpose and place that is already being offered to them...he waits patiently...for decades...for lifetimes...with hands outstretched waiting for the gift to be taken. 

When I finally embraced His desires for my heart they instantly transfused into my own coursing veins and so began my stained and frayed and perfectly beautiful purpose filled life.  Day to day monotony grew new dimensions and flourished into technicolour. Dry bones watered with His word and truth.  Eyes wide open to divine appointments that were packaged as emails and lunch dates.


Don't fall asleep in the wait...in the familiar.  It's not forever... Keep your eyes peeled for His outstretched hands offering you the gift.  Don't be surprised if it's one you've already rejected and stamped returned to sender. The name and address are not a mistake. Tear open the adhesive seal and release the beautifully familiar...the beautiful purpose filled life.

(see picture at http://pinterest.com/pin/98938523037077750/)

Releasing the Wait

Memories...serve as a teaching tool to my spirit.  Many things in life can teach...as if the child I was knew something I've somehow forgotten... 

I think back to my 5 year old self.  Sitting on the hill in the school playground...the yard emptied out...all the children went home...I sat waiting for my babysitter...she never showed.  I thought I'd be stuck on that hill forever...that my tummy would get hungry and my eyes would get sleepy and the bugs would crawl all over me...forever.  I knew I couldn't start the trek home alone.  I was instructed to wait, and so I did.  Minutes felt like hours to my 5 year old perception.  I felt alone and forgotten.  Mummy's instruction played over and over in my mind...don't ever leave on your own...and so I waited.  

Would I ever be rescued?  Should I fumble my way home?  Get lost...get in trouble?  But I didn't know the direction of home...and I didn't know how to cross the street...and I didn't know how to rescue myself.  So I waited.  

I could hear her voice before I could see her fear stricken eyes.  It echoed off the brown brick walls...past the basketball nets and through the hopscotch pads.  It spoke authority and I knew I could run down the hill and go home now.  Mummy, I'm here!  I've been waiting!  Her pupils wide...unable to blink from fear. She was more afraid than I was.  But I was rescued and the wait was over and we went home...

I still don't really know how to rescue myself most days.  And I hear the instruction clearly in my head: Be still and know that I am God.  Just wait, Jenny.  Sit on the hill of waiting, enjoy the view...know that I'm on my way and that my timing is JUST in time!  

Some days I manage to doze off and the bugs are crawling all over me and I'm bored and ungrateful for what I have. I'm annoyed that I don't know the way...that I can't just figure this out for myself.   I wonder if God really knows what he's doing.  

I'm pacing in circles...treading water for what feels like too long...the pool is looking murky and my toes are shriveled...has it been hours or days now...I lost count.  Instead of waiting expectantly, knowing he'll come, I've begun to lose sight, stop listening, stop caring...that this is only for a little while.  My perception is not of eternal time where the hours and days are just a small blip on the screen...not knowing a hearty rhythm of life is just minutes away.  Where He'll lead me down a new path, away from this hill... to a place I've been waiting to go but couldn't find on my own.  But if I get up now and wander off I might lose my way...trying to hurry it along...figure it out for him because God, you don't seem to know what you're doing.  But he promises to rescue me and turn all things for good and complete exactly what he started...if I am still and I wait patiently his voice will break through the yard when it's time...not a second too late.  

Be confident of his perfect promises... the perfect timing ...the perfect way...  

If you've been waiting, then he's on his way...he knows where to find you...listen for his call and don't hesitate when it's time! 

Be still and know that I am God ~ Psalm 46:10

Be still in the presence of the Lord and wait patiently for him to act.  ~ Psalm 37:7

Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus ~ Philippians 1:6


(see picture at http://pinterest.com/pin/98938523037061173/)

Releasing the Preparation

I can feel the spirit-man growing. Like something inside of me is literally stretching and aching and being pulled like the fibers of a rubber band.  Like my heart might rip, blood pouring open.  I breathe... consciously... deeply.  Remind myself, over and over that He is in control of this.  This is a good thing! That His ways are indisputably better than my ways.

I long to have purpose...to know the reason I'm here.  But when the ideas seem endless and my mind can't find rest and all my efforts are fruitless and tiring and in vain then I stop and be still in His presence.  I don't need to know it all..right here in this moment.  That's why he's given me many days...many blessed and prosperous days to come to work out his glory in my life...in me and through me.

He says to me, seek FIRST My kingdom...who I am...where My heart is...what My Word says and commands and promises abundantly for you...how much I love you...how beautifully I see you...how fondly I love you, like a father looking upon his beloved, precious child...with pride and a desire to protect and love and GIVE, GIVE, GIVE.  Give you EVERYTHING  I possess.  But it can't all be right now.  Seek ME first...and ALL the desires of your heart will come to be.  Because the desires of YOUR heart will be melded with the desires of MY heart...My desires for your life...My desires for where I'll take you...for where I'm positioning you...for where you'll go and what you'll accomplish in MY name. My ways are above your ways, and My thoughts, above your own...above what you could ever think or hope for...(Isaiah 55:8, Ephesians 3:20)

Then it hits me...the stretching and growing I'm feeling...that is Him getting me ready.  Preparing my heart to receive His gifts, His glory.  To receive it all right now, without preparation would cause my heart to do just that...rip blood pouring open.  My mind could not conceive ..could not understand...could not contain it all.  It's too much...too good...too glorious for today.  

So I hold out my cup and He fills it for what I can ascertain for today...what I can absorb for today...and then a little more to stretch me...the cup overflows unable to be contained...stretching one rubber fiber at a time.  One small idea birthed at a time.

I trust...I wait...patiently, Jesus.  You are worth the wait.  You are worth the effort.  You are worth everything I own...everything I know.  I trust you with this fragile heart of mine.  With this stumbling and bruised body...with this bumbling tongue that I struggle daily to get under control...I trust you God to tame it...to bridle it...to bring me into your purpose for the days I have left here.  To love with all my heart...to speak words of life and love over your children...over this earth.  Over situations that your grace allows me to stumble upon.

I seek you...I wait...every fiber stretches in the wait...in preparation for your glory revealed.

(see picture at http://pinterest.com/pin/98938523037041867/)

Releasing a Challenge

I challenge you to love.  Really love...with fervency.  The kind of crazy, life changing, heart pounding, unforgettable, unbreakable, take your breath away love you never thought you'd ever experience.  The kind of love that will inevitably make people sit up and take notice...be mystified...be aware...be amazed...be changed. 

And by people I mean you...

I challenge you to live.  Really live...with all your being.  Wake up every fragment of your broken self and invite it to come... live... dance... laugh... surrender... sing... dream... breathe... love.  Unhindered by fear and condemnation.  No longer held back by the pecking of critics.  You have permission to believe the TRUTH...this life is yours!  It's a gift...to YOU...and only you.  You are special...you hold the key...and only you can activate the potential and greatness of this gift...it's love and life...by being freely YOU.  Accept the gift...use it...it can change a life...yours!

So much in this existence can feel heavy...can slow you down...can mess you up.  Can bind your mind... your heart... your spirit... your hands.  But today you can declare freedom!  And it's that easy... just declare it... accept it... believe it... embrace it... then step out and live it!  Christ died for you so you can freely love and live and experience this wonderful, weird, complicated, mysterious, exciting, lovely, heart pounding, exhilarating life to it's fullest...life abundant.  

Open your mind...clearing out the muck.... breaking through the bondage... don't let yourself be held back any longer.  Because only you can LET that happen.  Yes, the pull of influence is strong and convincing...but whoever said the voices around you could call the shots?  Could dictate your life, your joy, your well being...or lack thereof.  Believing the lies that you're not strong enough, not worthy enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough, not good enough.  Christ died for you knowing you in your not enough because He believes in you...he see you...he knows who you really are and he wants to see you flourish and thrive...in spite of the weighty, back breaking not enough.  Give it up because you can...because you've been invited to.  His burden is light and he wants to do tradesies...(Matthew 11:28-30)   

YOU ARE AWESOME!  Say it out loud...call it out over your life...repeat it over and over until you can feel the healing of this truth flooding in your spirit.  Until you can feel the crazy, life changing, heart pounding, unforgettable, unbreakable, take your breath away affirmation and love you never thought you'd ever experience...but you can...give yourself permission.

Live the life that Christ died for...life abundant...life filled with joy and peace and love and blessing...it's yours...it's set out before you...take it gratefully and without reserve.  Honour the gift that's already been given...accept it with every piece of your fragmented self.

(see picture at http://pinterest.com/pin/98938523037023655/)

Releasing the Introvert

The introvert inside is desperately looking for camouflage today.  To slip inside an invisibility cloak and spend the day drifting without one ounce of attention...without one acknowledgement...without one eye glancing...looking...judging. Even avoiding the mirror is tempting...regardless of whether the someone starting back is familiar...but eyes pry...even if they're just mine.

If only it were that easy to disappear...

Exhaustion from living introverted in a society that demands so much of your attention, time, soul...to fill it with things that will pass away...nothing lasting...and nothing that fills up a fragile and hungry spirit with nourishment. 

There are days an introverted heart begs for a transplant. For a new personality...feeling small can feel like a load to bear...a curse at times.  Many days have come and gone feeling trampled and condemned for being me.  Wondering if I'm really enough...wondering when being in large crowds will stop feeling like drowning.  Wondering if God could really use someone so seemingly shy...imperfect to carry out his message of peace and hope and love.  Words are choked when liquid waves of doubt fill the mouth...gurgle in the lungs.

But there's always a miracle to be birthed...with letting go and letting my Creator do his handiwork.  He knows what this small frame...this tiny existence... is capable of through his encouragement and power.  Maybe the miracle can only be truly recognized when someone like me actually is used...in spite of myself.  When an emerging deep within...when a creative spirit is seen by the masses even when feelings want to isolate and hide deep in the cocoon.  It's then that beauty has a choice...it can hide in the familiar or it can allow itself to naturally emerge and make a difference by being seen.  To believe a difference can be made...that it has worth and purpose.  The only choice an introvert needs to make is to let go...you don' t need to change...condemn yourself...fake it...just let the white knuckles loosen.  

Stop striving to do it yourself...in the crushing grip, the intimidation of condemnation.

A heart that trusts becomes free...even the most timid of hearts...freedom in the letting go.   Freedom in the seemingly impossible. Freedom in the miracle of knowing you have value...to be birthed...seen...used. Freedom when the condemnation halts...and acceptance becomes your mantra...your worth...your name. The kind of acceptance your Creator is already declaring over you and longing to pour out on to you...into every dry and cracked crevasse of your heart that is thirsty for the miracle . 

Freedom for the introvert

(see picture at http://pinterest.com/pin/98938523037006225/)

Releasing Fluff

A brisk morning...blue sky...slight breeze.  I breath deep as I walk to the subway...I look up at the sky to take in the view. My eyes focus and I see a flurry of fluff.  Dandelion fluff dancing all over the sky.  Wishes...hopes...dreams.  

Fluff.

When I was a kid I'd pick a fluffy, aged dandelion, make a wish and blow...picturing my dreams being sent in a thousand little pieces of fluff up to the sky...up to heaven.  Hoping, wishing.  Later forgotten.  Maybe they were actually just fluff.

Sometimes I still feel like my dreams, my hearts desires are just dancing around in the great unknown.  I'm unsure of how to grasp them...how to tap into them.  Sometimes I even chase after them, like chasing fluff on a windy day.  Spinning my wheels...out of breath...desperately chasing fluff.  It's exhilarating for a while but it eventually wears me out...I lose my breath and my vision...why was I chasing it anyway.  It felt so right when I started, but now I'm at a loss.

The truth is, a dream is just fluff until it becomes a vision...and a vision must solidify into a passion or else it will just drift away.  There are too many storms, too much wind and force that can drive you away from a dream...a hope...a wish.

Ask the Keeper of your dreams to help you...to give you the visions and desires of your heart that are His...that will stick...that mean something.  He wants to help you but He needs you to know that you can't do it on your own.  You'll run out of steam...out of ideas and inspiration.  He'll keep it fresh and clear....like today's early morning sky.  He may even morph it into something you wouldn't have expected...but it will be just the thing that makes it all come together...all the little pieces of fluff will fly in sync and form something beautiful and tangible...the vision will form...the passion will grow and this dream will be birthed into more.  Keep looking up...enjoy the view...ask Him to catch the dreams for you and to grow them.

Watch the fluff fly and dance around you...and when the time is right...when your positioning is right...when the breeze stands still in that perfect second, when the Keeper of your dreams aligns all things so that this moment is just right, reach out and claim the fluff as so much more...as a dream come true.

~wanna read more?  Psalm 37:4 Romans 8:28

(see pictures at  http://pinterest.com/pin/98938523036985537/   http://pinterest.com/pin/98938523036985539/)

Releasing My Besty

I laughed my eyes to tears...

my side to splitting...

cheeks quivering from the intensity of joy plastered across my face.  

Just being in the same room with her was enough to take me back...make me silly...giddy.

Highways and sidestreets connecting.... miles upon miles...they keep us apart most days, but today I would live for this moment...in this moment where I could reach out and touch her hand...hold it.  Slap her knee as I laughed cause she makes me laugh more than anyone I know.  

A bond that dates back as long as my existence...muscles and bones hold the memories...deeper than pictures in my mind.  I feel like a healthier, younger version of myself when she's around...like the time that's passed between us...apart...has stood still...always picking up where we left off.

She knows my heart...my funny-bone...my shoe size.   She speaks to a part of me that most aren't able to reach...aren't able to understand...she holds the key...deep in the blood line we share.

My friend...my sister...the keeper of my secrets...kindred spirit...my besty.

(see picture at http://pinterest.com/pin/98938523036965443/)


Happy 30th Birthday, Miranda!  You make my life happy:)  I am so blessed to have you as my sister and to share laughter, tears and a bond that has grown deep over the years.

You are loved, missed and celebrated today!  Cheers to my Besty.

Love, Jenny-Mulhenny xoxoxo

Releasing the Fully Known

Fragments...pieces...shards...brokenness...

Frustration of living limited.  A finite mind living in a finite world...reflecting the imperfect.  But a soul and spirit containing the make up of much more...of that which is FULLY known.  Perhaps not today...or tomorrow...but one day the FULLY known will be in grasp of those that know not, but ARE fully known.

A battle in the self...one that my Jesus knows well.  Stepping down from the thrones and glory of heaven to know the limits of the human condition.  That is the ultimate love...the ultimate sacrifice.  The ultimate expression of empathy for the finite and decaying...and he did it so that one day my frustration and lacking...my fragments and brokenness will be exchanged for fullness of mind and knowledge...for revelation in full...for life in full and everlasting.

But what for today then?  What must I embrace, accept, believe to lead me to the fully known...while I wait?  Today embrace the deep and unconditional love of Christ.  Know His love and His life...know His death...the blood poured out...the body stripped and striped with lashings taken in love...sacrificed for my iniquity.  A body just as frail as mine...fragmented and broken beyond what I'll ever experience.  And a resurrection to the Kingdom of the FULLY known...all so I can one day share in that fullness.  

In the wait, I meditate on this incredible thing I don't yet fully understand...and I accept the gift I never deserved...to bind the fragments...to piece together the brokenness...and to one day find completion in the FULLY known. 

For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. 
~1 Corinthians 13:12

(see picture at http://pinterest.com/pin/98938523036939097/)

Releasing a Reboot

CTRL...ALT...DEL 

Reboot...unstick the stuck. 

Like a computer screen frozen in time...no longer fluid and changing but static...rigid...stuck.

A need for change...but how? The heart is willing but the flesh is weak...always giving an error message.  A vortex of negative narrative...that won't stop. 

It's crazy how a little bug can infiltrate and destroy a whole system...give him a foothold and he'll bust down the door and ransack the place (Ephesians 4:27).  Feed you garbage that tastes like liquid sugar...but rots you from the inside out...poisons and chokes a heart that began as soft and malleable. Hardens...his kiss of death.


How do you reboot a soul that's frozen...solid as ice? Slimed and crusted over by the identity of the father of lies... fooled to believe that his lies and tricks are truth. That there's no joy or peace that belongs to you...that it's too hard to get it anyway.

Release your need to CTRL this...to change it all yourself...to fix this (James 4:7). It's not your battle to fight alone.  Nothing is impossible with the father of truth and light (Luke 1:37 NLT). He's seen worse...fixed worse...redeemed far worse.  Get out of the way and he'll fix it...reset it...fire it up with new life.

ALTer your language and he will ALTer your mind...the words you speak contain life and death (Proverbs 18:21)...pray in your desperation...and don't stop. Do not conform yourselves to the standards of this world, but let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind. Then you will be able to know the will of God—what is good and is pleasing to him and is perfect. ~Romans 12:2 (GNT)

As you release he will DEL the damage. Start afresh...his mercies are new EVERY MORNING  (Lamentations 3:22-23)... today...right now...reset...find healing in the reboot of a frozen heart.

CTRL...ALT...DEL

(see picture at http://pinterest.com/pin/98938523036921769/)