Releasing Patience

Do you ever feel like your patience is being tested?  Like God always seems to be saying, not yet...just wait.  

Wait for the weather to get warmer

wait for debts to be paid off

wait for that breakthrough you've been praying about

wait for provision to show up...and usually right at the last second.

wait for a promotion

wait for your next vacation

wait in line...wait for the bus...wait in traffic...wait for your Amazon package to arrive...

Sometimes I feel like even when things are picking up, and I can see my goal just on the horizon...so close I could taste it...that he's still asking me to pace myself...don't run ahead.  Stay with me until we're there.

The weak part of my flesh wants instant gratification...or at least to expedite the ending....and sometimes I feel like I might have a tantrum if I have to wait any longer. As if a tantrum is going to change his mind...

This may be a slight twist to a familiar verse, but it came to mind while I was thinking about wanting things NOW...Jesus says, where your treasure is, there your heart will be also (Luke 12:34). Is it possible that my impatience has something to do with the importance I place on something...whether it be material, or not. And the question is, am I so impatient because there is a part of me that covets or worships this thing I want to have NOW.  I don't think this means we can't have goals, preferences, dreams, but it does mean that you can measure if you're focused on the right things based on how you react to being asked to wait...focused on eternal things, the things of heaven....or on the treasures you long to store up right now...today...this minute...  Does that make sense?  When I really think about it, I am feeling impatient because I am not focused on the GIVER...I am focused on the GIFT.  And as much as God wants to pour out blessings and gifts on us, he doesn't want us to worship the gifts themselves.  Sometimes I wonder if I'm being asked to wait so he can set my heart to focus where it should be...

There's no doubting that God humbles us at times, especially through stretching our innate behaviours, but it's always for our good.  I've never come out on the other side of a difficult situation and felt like I didn't learn something or gain some sort of strength or wisdom.  He wants to grow you and change you so you are ready to move into the next phase...the next project he wants to involve you in...the next blessing...

Are you READY?  SET!  aaaand...WAIT!

(see pictures at http://pinterest.com/pin/98938523036532569/ http://pinterest.com/pin/98938523036532568/)

Releasing a Groan

She sits and closes her eyes.  Searching her mind...where to begin.  It's hard to find the words of a groan...a feeling that has deep roots...words are fluff.   

Like a woman ready to birth...there are no words...only deep guttural utterances to express the inexpressible.  This could be a birthing of sorts...something new comes forth out of a similar unrest...discomfort....urgency.  No words come but she focuses on him...his face....his past goodness.  Imagining she's staring at him face to face.  Praying that he'll read her mind...know the utterances of pain...the words.

Even in the midst of this moment, this uncertainty, this restlessness... joy can be found...in the simple...in the Saviour...in the promise.  

In the same way, the spirit helps us in our weakness.  We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans ~Romans 8:26 

His spirit to hers 

He knows her pain

He finds the words 

He intercedes 

Joy in the groan...because it's heard...it's translated...it's understood.  It's a promise!

(see picture at http://pinterest.com/pin/98938523036522046/)

Releasing Faith for the Mountain

Matthew 17:20 Say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move.

Do you think you have faith to move a mountain?  To be gutsy enough to tell it to move and expect that it will?

Sometimes I believe that I can...when things are all in order...my head is clear...my spirits are up.  But if I actually look out at the landscape, those are typically the moments when the terrain is pretty flat...easy going.  It's easy to say you have faith to move a mountain when there isn't one staring you in the face!

Today a mountain got in my way.  The day started well and then something, totally out my control really got me down.  Those are always the moments that my true self is exposed...the one that's buried deep down.  My mountain today is in the form of a stronghold...you know...someone's hurt you or offended you or embarrassed you and you play the scenario over and over....and over....and over...and....you get the picture.  I even have a dialogue in my head about why I'm justified to feel this way and hold on to it.  I make very valid points, and convince myself that indeed, I have been wronged.  I walk around in a haze...I feel angry...my peace is GONE!  And when my peace is gone I know I have come into agreement with the slime master, Satan.  He's once again slimed me with his identity and I just let him...in fact, I helped him.

So now that I'm deep in this place, feeling sorry for myself I cry out to my helper...my Saviour.  I wish I would have called out sooner, I think.  He understands, but he also knows this mountain can only be moved if I open my mouth in faith...it's the way he designed it.  He's given me clarity to recognize the mountain and is asking me if I have faith that the mountain will move.  Do I really want the mountain to move?  Do I secretly like falling victim to this big dumb mountain that always makes me believe he is WAAAAY bigger and stronger.  I start to write about him...let light shine on him...and he begins to shrink.  

I think of the Wizard of Oz...the man behind the green curtain...."pay no attention" he called out to Dorothy as he hurriedly tried to continue the mascaraed and conceal who he really was.  Well it turned out he was just a cowardly old man who was not very powerful at all.  

When the smoke and mirrors were taken away the mountain shrank on me.  I could see what it was made of and it was pathetic.  I spoke out words with the power of Christ in me....MOVE...NOW!  Eyes squeezed shut, hands clenched and sweaty, standing my ground and position in Christ, I started to open my eyes...my heart swelled, filling me with peace as that mountain crumbled and every last piece of rubble rolled away.  Then Jesus came out with a little dust pan and swept up the remaining crumbs and signaled for me to keep walking...in peace and love.  Go forward and sit with the king...Papa.  

Sitting on my Papa's lap I feel secure again...looking out at all the things I can't control...and hearing him whisper to me about the things that I can. Regardless, I find peace right here.

What's your mountain?  Do you want it to move?  You have to start somewhere... recognize...ask for help...then tell it where to go!

haha...I love this picture!  I'm telling the next mountain to get on bike and ride away:)

(see pictures at http://pinterest.com/pin/98938523036469299/ http://pinterest.com/pin/98938523036500613/)

Releasing Your Beauty

You are beautiful...

You were created to be that way...inside...out.  And you are...believe me.

Me - beautiful?  You ask.  Are there are things about you that you don't like...when you look at others there are things that you don't appreciate...things seen, things felt?  I am here to reassure you that you possess beauty...and if you look closely, if you remove the critical filter you look at life through, you'll see beauty all around you.  The beauty of a soul that is here for a reason, that is in this place at this time because it's supposed to be.  Your Creator does not make mistakes...ever.

God doesn't create outside of the realm of beauty because that is his essence....and we are made in his image ...so guess what?  There is no escaping this beauty you so readily reject.  Your unique face, and stature...it's perfect because it is...because it's here...living, breathing. Your personality, your ever changing and growing mind and spirit...it contains the most magnificent beauty...light, life...a soul that is like no other...it exists separate but never in a vacuum...never alone...your soul intermingles with others because of the beauty it contains...drawing.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder...your beloved...the one who will never leave you or forsake you (Deuteronomy 31:6), believes you are the most beautiful.  His filter is pure and truthful.  He sees the beauty you reveal and all the beauty you are hiding...deep down.  A beauty that extravagant should not be hidden, my friend.  It can change the world...a life...your life... 

Look closely...with intention...it's hard to see clearly without light...shine it...see how beautiful you are.

(see pictures at  http://pinterest.com/pin/98938523036469271/     http://pinterest.com/pin/98938523036469268/  http://pinterest.com/pin/98938523036469270/)

Releasing Incense

Walking to work I suddenly got this amazing smell of breakfast.  You know the type...eggs, bacon, hash-browns...maybe a side of pancakes...is your mouth watering yet?  The smell made me happy...awake...alive at 8:30 a.m. on a mid-week morning just after I had been dozing off on the commute.  The odd thing was I was on the subway platform...not sure where this amazing smell was coming from, really.

I think there are things about these simple pleasures that can point us to joy, peace, love...our Creator...am I over spiritualizing this? Not a chance.  I am a spiritual being responding to a love gesture from my spiritual Papa!  I am blessed to have not missed the gift.

Something seemingly simple, like a yummy breakfast, can either just be that...or it can take on a whole new meaning, pointing me to that which will fill me up:

1. Be grateful...see what he's provided for you.  If you take the time to look at the things you have, you'll see that God not only provides what you need but also what you love...he cares about all of that.  Notice he didn't give me the smell of porridge or toast?  It was a breakfast for a Queen!

2.  Remember him...be mindful of him when you smell his incense.  Did I just say God smells like fried potatoes?  Well, this morning it was :)  It could be the beautiful smell of lilacs or bacon and eggs.  Either way, it gets my attention, makes me smile and points me to him.

3.  He knows you...he knew at that moment on that day that this smell would speak to me.  I mean, I'm reflecting on it, I'm writing about it and I look forward to the next time I smell it.  It will likely become "our thing".  When I walk into a greasy-spoon diner, I will think of this day....I will carry him with me and know he's speaking.  When I sit down for my next delicious breakfast, I will remember that he sees me...right now...he's winking at me from across the table.  Dig in, my dear!

Do we tend to over complicate things in our lives?  Thinking, if God's going to speak to me, won't it be in some miraculous, burning bush moment?  Well, maybe...after all, I've never smelled bacon and eggs on the subway platform before, but God is speaking to you, trying to get your attention all the time...have you opened your eyes? ...your nostrils?

You don't have to wait to enter into praise and worship...right here and right now is just perfect with whatever the gift may be!  If it's good, then it's from him (James 1:17). And you don't have to look long or even that hard to see his fingerprints all over your life....no matter who you are, where you live or what your circumstances.  He's whispering to you...he's releasing his incense....can you smell it?  Careful, it might make you hungry...but he'll fill you up (Matthew 4:4)...

(see pictures at http://pinterest.com/pin/98938523036463761/ and  http://pinterest.com/pin/98938523036463760/)

Releasing His Voice

 Can you hear his voice?  He's calling your name.

Sometimes the roar of life can seem to overpower...it's hard to hear a whisper when the jackhammer is pounding away at your soul...poisoning your mind.  But rest assured, he will never leave you or forsake you (Deuteronomy 31:6)...it's his promise and you can hold him to that.  

Spoken word is powerful...your tongue holds the power of life and death (Proverbs 18:21)...so speak out his promises when it feels like he's broken them. He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow (Hebrews 13:8)...that means what you've seen him do in the past whether in your life or someone else's, he can do right now as well as tomorrow and the rest of your days.  

Remember that he is not the people who have hurt you or let you down.  It's easy to compare him to the neglectful father, the judgmental religious folk, or the fickle friend. He never has been, and he never will be any of those.  It's easy to confuse the hurt, and he understands...but he's asking for your trust...trust that he is who he says he is.

When you are desperate to hear from him it's important to remember he sometimes speaks in subtle ways.  Ways that are impossible to see if your mind is clouded by anxiety, depression, addiction or the overwhelming images and messages that are thrown at us everyday by an overstimulated society.  Do your best to quiet your mind...be present in your body and open your eyes...look for the signs he's giving you of his presence. When I look closely, I tend to see hearts everywhere I go...on the pavement, in the trees, in my food...his love song!  

Be grateful, even when it's really hard. Pick out at least one thing a day where you saw his hand print...and if it feels impossible, take a deep breath and thank him for the life giving oxygen that just filled your lungs.

He's going to rescue you...in fact, if it's helpful to remember...he already has...in fact IT IS FINISHED.  All of it.  Yes you're living in the middle of some pain right now, but he sees the whole picture...the glorious end of your trials because he fought for it...for your light at the end of the tunnel.  Thank him for it now, so that when it comes the glory will go to the deserving Saviour and the memory of the pain will sit in its rightful place...nailed to a cross stained with love for you!

(see picture at http://pinterest.com/pin/98938523036454524/)

Releasing a Testimony

I struggled...for years.  A religious spirit had infiltrated and was rotting my heart...I let it.  Right and wrong, dos and don'ts...condemnation for me...judgment for everyone else.  My self-righteous attitude, poisoning me from the inside out.  Fake grace, fake love, fake heart...portraying a fake Jesus, fake life, fake me.  No truth.  Nothing that would sustain.  I think I believed that I had somehow earned God's grace and mercy...I was crying out for more.  I hated what I saw.  So I threw my hands up and walked away...

A child of the world.  Bondage was disguised as freedom...I really believed it for a time...until it wasn't enough.  Fake joy, fake fun, fake happiness for someone that kinda resembled me....but in truth, a fake me.  Truth was throwing stones at my bedroom window.  I ignored it for a while....eight years, actually.

I didn't know what the real truth was...and how it would set me free, indeed.

A turning point...I think scales must have fallen off my eyes that day...I probably could have seen them if I looked for them.  Something inside me changed...the cocoon I had built and dwelt in, so comfortably, was no longer feeling like home.  That day it began to feel constrictive, limiting...maybe even empty.  My heart was fickle...living in limbo.  There was more that I wasn't tapping into...that was going to be revealed to me that day as I morphed....into a new creation...maybe I was growing wings.   

I walked in the rain to work...iPod speaking God's love song to my  heart.  I didn't do anything....I didn't seek anything....He pursued me.  Whispered his sweet love song through my headphones.  Brought me from darkness to the light...even in the rain.  He must have known it would wash away the stains, purify what was tarnished. Revive what was half dead.  Asked me to expose all my filth, my wounds, my open sores so he could fix them.  Sometimes it just takes one touch to heal...the hem of his garment, even.  Just being close to him is enough...but he has more....he wants to lavish you with so much more.

Can you hear him? Listen close...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vKm7eCDsgoM 

Click on the link to hear the song that called me back to Father God's arms
(Into the Light - Laura Woodley)

~John 8:36, Romans 12:2, Luke 8:44, Zephaniah 3:17

(see picture at http://pinterest.com/pin/98938523036454518/)