The pain from plans failed. I really thought I had calculated meticulously...but when I look back now I can't help but wonder if my head was really on straight. I've messed this up bad and have nothing to show for what I thought was good. On the surface level, I can confidently say, I am a mess. I try not to be, but it's in my DNA. My bloodline is proof of this...and it all began back in the Garden...where perfection was attainable until we asked too many questions, got too offended, and made one too many bad choices. As heavy as this blame and this marred life lies upon my shoulders, my bloodline has been redeemed from the past failures...and so has yours. But just the same, I have to surrender my best laid plans for something completely out of my control.
My errors come from making plans, setting my own drum beat, desperately trying to attain a life that was never meant to be mine....it doesn't work! When I'm finally fed up...and I finally shut up, that's when this beautiful, miraculous thing can begin to take shape... because His purpose is what will prevail (Proverbs 19:21). All my good intentions, my good qualities and good fortune account for nothing when, at the end of the day, He is in control of my every breath, my every moment, my everything. I may have the choice to flit and fly where I like, but wasting time doing my own thing is a waste of sweat, and tears and heartbreak. And many times, that is what I have been left with at the end of the day.
So instead, I become Proverbs 3:5 and use my energy for that which will last....take the risk and give up my plans for something that will fill me up and is fail proof. Trust Him with ALL my heart...even when I don't understand...even if I seem to have a better way...even if the oceans rage and I'm taken under by the tow. I know that I will rise above it as He lifts me to His heights...to His way...to His plan.
Into His Glorious Right...out of my desperately wrong.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all ways acknowledge Him and he will make your paths straight. - Proverbs 3:5-6
Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. - Proverbs 19:20-21
Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. - Proverbs 19:20-21
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