Releasing the Wild Scavenger

Scavenger: 

1. an animal, bird, or other organism that feeds on 
dead and rotting flesh or discarded food scraps

2. somebody who seeks or looks through discarded items 

in the hope of finding something usable**

(Encarta Dictionary)

The call of the crow lifted my eyes.  As if a beckon to my soul... all within me stopped... looked up.  It was the first time wildlife had called out to me... acknowledge my presence in months.  

In this wasteland of frozen, the presence of life has retreated to southern safety.  Leaving the remaining in danger's despair, the threat of death...we hide our life in layers, protecting... eyes down, heads bowed as the harsh pressed in.

The call of a wild scavenger.  Her call doesn't reach the height of  beauty and her colours equal this measure. But that is not the end of her story.  

I watch as she sits perched atop the tallest branch, confident in hope.  Hope for life, hope for spring.  Hope that regardless of her ranking among her fellow-feathered-fowl she has a right and a purpose to live...to call for my attention...for a lifting of eyes and faith.  As if she spoke the words of the Apostle:  Wake up O' Sleeper.  Rise from the dead and Christ will Shine on you (Ephesians 5:14).   

Hope sprang out from the mouth of the wild one...wild at heart...wild in nature.  In the midst of the lung catching, face biting freeze.  Daring me to be wild...wild in living...wild in hope...wild in love.  Wild in the face of these oppressive days.  Like the wild Creator that breathed breath and life and beauty into us both...both so differently but equally filled with passion in His created ones.

There's Life in the wild one...freedom as you care less about the rotting of the wasteland, the breakdown and the outer mess that seems to remain.  Where your song may not clip the ear of many and your colours may not demand a fan-following but the hope IN you can call forth life...more than the offerings of the wasteland...you can spark the same hope IN another.  

Hope IN you.....Christ IN you. The hope of glory. (Colossians 1:27)

The heart of the wild Scavenger**

(see picture at http://www.pinterest.com/pin/98938523038306964/)

Releasing the Blood Bond

I have her cheek bones...her sensitive heart...her genetics coursing through my veins.   

But it doesn't end there...that's only the beginning...of a bond that began in sync with the rhythm of my life.  

For 33 years she's poured out her heart...told me the same love story...our beginning. 

From the moment she laid eyes on me,  through a tiny crack in the curtain on the maternity ward...that blizzard of a March day ....she said she knew she was in love...even through the glass...even from the other room...her heart beat with mine.  

We skipped a generation, but never a heart beat.

Hearts beating...whispering a lullaby....lazy summer days up north...snuggling in the shade...she stroked my hair as I dozed.  I could hear her heart whispering ...

Hearts beating...whispering a song of hope...to a delicate soul.  Growing up... sensitive... misunderstood by most. It wasn't their fault...I was different.  But patiently, she always took the time...opened the door...her arms...her heart.  Wiped the tears...spoke truth to the tears...gave a part of herself...generously.

Hearts beating...whispering encouragement...helping my heart to beat...always.  Through darkest days...through new adventures...through creative outpouring.  Always there...with a heart open.  Feeding a young soul that seems to age too quickly...but her soul never ages....her love always grows...the bond never breaks.

My heart still beats with hers...my heart whispers our story...two spirits with different narratives but a common vein...an understanding...a deep love...a bond as thick as the blood between us.

(see picture at http://pinterest.com/pin/98938523036898972/)


Happy 80th Birthday, Grandma!  Although many years apart, you are my true kindred spirit and I will forever be grateful for the special bond we have always had.  I celebrate your amazing life today and wish you all the joy, peace and love that you deserve.

Love your Jenny xoxo

Releasing the Fruit I Eat

I act surprised...even shocked.  As if I didn't see it coming...as if I'm offended by the outcome.  In the moment I made a choice...even if I wasn't aware that was what I was doing.  Even if I turned all reasoning to off, my actions are not played out in a vacuum.  Consequences are a direct result.  Do I move in my coming and going with purpose... deliberately?  Or am I walking around on auto pilot hoping for the best as I close my eyes and blaze ahead full throttle. 

I read the words out loud as they jump off the page at me...

they will eat the fruit of their ways and be filled with the fruit of their schemes 

(Proverbs 1:31)

And the fruit of my schemes today are so bitter and rotten I practically choke them up.  But even in the midst of this bitter regret, He invites me to come into his presence, brings me back into alignment, feeds me the bread of life and washes every offense...nailing each rancid piece of the puzzle to the blood stained and splintered cross that offers me another chance, a new start.

I seek and ask for wisdom...His divine and holy wisdom.  The wonder of His knowledge and understanding...that pocket where my senses feel heightened to what has been in front of me this whole time...the muck is cleared...and I'm in that sweet spot.  His Word is truth and life but somewhere along the line I have translated their meaning into a distorted version of themselves.  Making them rigid and bitter instead of the sweetness, pleasure and freedom that they bring.  Lacking wisdom has a bitter aftertaste.  

I try to live my life marching to my own drum beat...following my own rules and expecting that the outcome will be far better than what He has designed.  I step out of His order and direction and think the path will still be straight and narrow because I know what I'm doing.  I fumble around in the dark wondering why I keep falling into traps...why I get so confused and distracted.  I can't see in the dark...I can't see when I turn my back on the Light...the Truth.  His truth is the only way to be sure I can see clearly...

Your word is a lamp onto my feet and a light for my path (Psalm 119:25). So that when the path forks or takes a deep plunge into the unknown, each step...one at a time...will be lightened... enlightened... given the space and clarity that it warrants.  Space and clarity so I find the safety He intended...the health and comfort He intended...the wisdom, knowledge and understanding He intended, feeding Life to my mortal body and my immortal spirit.


1 Corinthians 10:23-24 (MSG)

Looking at it one way, you could say, “Anything goes. Because of God’s immense generosity and grace, we don’t have to dissect and scrutinize every action to see if it will pass muster.” But the point is not to just get by. We want to live well, but our foremost efforts should be to help others live well

(see pictures at http://www.pinterest.com/pin/98938523037901884/   http://www.pinterest.com/pin/98938523037901885/)

Releasing the Deep Freeze

The ice storm of 2013 cut power from hundreds of thousands of homes in southern Ontario.  This experience caused me to reflect...

The darkness sat heavy around me...and the dampness of the winter freeze threatened to creep through the piled layers and ice me from the calloused exterior to that which is vulnerable... 

Staying afloat in this undertow of blinding dark and finding my present self in this shallow breath, the abyss mocked my weak and fading spirit.  33 hours without the furnace of life...the heartbeat of my safe haven, and you start to see the true colourblindness of the dark.  All life and vibrance bleed together in the lie that this is the end...you deserve this.  Fear lives in the dark...depression lives in the dark... Satan and all his accusatory schemes live in the dark.  In my weakness, I am afraid of the dark.

But even if my flesh feels overcome and my weaknesses shamefully expose their nakedness and foul stench...I can boldly declare that I am NOT overcome!  With haste and without condition, my mighty Saviour overcomes the darkness and devours the demons threatening death.  They may claw and screech and threaten blood shed but their bark does not reflect their bite when the sword of the Righteous King has already determined their fate.

Faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see (Hebrews 11:1).   Even when I literally cannot see the step directly in front of me I can be assured by the confidence that my blindness is not where it ends...that I'm not alone in this.  No matter how dark it may appear all around me I can allow peace and joy from the TRUTH to thaw my heart and thought patterns.  

Peace is protecting my soft and warm inner-self by not indulging her in a troubled or fearful heart...and to take the power I have been given to stop the choking pattern of allowing myself to be agitated and disturbed, fearful, intimidated, cowardly and unsettled (John 14:27 AMP).

The warmth of life comes from being saved from the self-destructive patterns that allow the cold to creep in...the darkness to press in...my spirit to give in.  Saved for a new day... a new year...a new chance...a new resolution....my self-revolution...to LET GO so His light...His eternal warmth is LET IN.

(see picture at http://www.pinterest.com/pin/98938523037831184/)

Releasing THIS

The air is crisp...biting my cheeks, turning my breath to a soft mist of white.  My eyes dance around the streets...lights twinkle as the sun hovers low in the sky at a young hour of the day.  I trip and trudge through the once powdery snow, now dense as the days pass, the sun warms and pollution eats away mixed with dirt and salt and no doubt the heat and struggle of my fighting heart.  As each year and each Christmas passes and my days on this earth count backwards...never adding...but running away from me, counting down as an hour glass, I can't help but reflect...and long for more for what time remains. 

The harsh cold of this world is reflected in the dropping mercury, deep freezing any warmth in this thrumming beat of the rhythm of life.  Somewhere in these dark streets, these dark days I can hear the voice of truth...whispering my name.  A still small voice.  As still and as small as the Christmas babe...asleep, lulled by the gentle heave of His mama's breath on a night as cold and as dark as this one.   Where, just like my story, nothing seemed certain...where everything seemed strange...where an inhabitant from the heavenly realm took up space and time in a dark and cold place.  But in that still and small space...a heavenly pocket of time...the ticking second hand seems to slow, my heart-hurt eases and I live in THIS very moment.  There is no worry, no ache or hurry in THIS...it's only when I step outside of right now that it's hard to track down hope, peace, joy, Emmanuel...God with us.  

Even Christ Himself became small...humble to take in and reflect the light of His Father. The rush and spin of this season...of this life...can make any light hard to absorb and peace hard to grasp.  But it's all my spirit really longs for....because it was created for more...more than ribbon tied packages or liquid-steamy sweetness...more than the familiar winter chorus' ringing through the streets...more than twinkling trees fragrant of pine...more than friendly company and mistletoe hung high.  These are the icing of life, meant to accent... enhance... compliment a solid foundation.  They can't be truly enjoyed...embraced...until a heart and spirit is fed with soul food...the Bread of Life (John 6:35)...the Light of the World (John 8:12)...found in a babe wrapped in swaddling clothes (Luke 2:12)...found in a blood stained splintered cross...found in the One who seeks your heart and meets you right where you are.  Even in the bitter cold and dark days...you can be filled with HOPE...with PEACE...with JOY...with CHRIST.  A gift that never fades...never goes out of style...never loses relevance...lasts forever.

Won't you invite Him to fill all the dark corners this Christmas?


Luke 2:8-14

And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.  And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.  And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.  For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.  And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.  And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.



(see pictures at  http://www.pinterest.com/pin/98938523037726300/   http://www.pinterest.com/pin/98938523037726297/)

Releasing Mary's Story

Note from the author: This entry was written 14 years ago and was performed as a monologue.  As you read, hear the young voice of Mary as her story unfolds from a different perspective. 



Your life can change in an instant.  This age old truth has been impressed in my soul most recently.  Perhaps this revelation reveals my lack of experience...my ignorance and immaturity.  But my journey thus far has only been a brief one, and my first life altering moments are only beginning to occur.

For a long time I believed my life was pretty insignificant.  I have loved and served God all of my life, but as a young woman of humble status what was there that I could possibly offer the world?  I was preparing for marriage, like most girls my age, and I longed to serve the Lord with my husband for many years to come.  We hoped to live a blessed yet simple life together...but I learned quickly that the word simple was not a part of God's vocabulary.

It was a night like any other.  I went to bed with only thoughts for the coming day of the same work, and the same life to be awaiting me the next morning.  It still feels like a dream.  When I awoke that night the most magnificent angel was in my midst...heaven touching earth...standing in my room...speaking to me!  My breath escaped my body leaving me speechless and trembling.   And then he spoke words I will never forget...that I was favoured by God.  I still can't fathom what that means.  He declared You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus.  He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High.  I knew this moment would change all that I held dear.  My plans...my life...and everything in it.  I had so much to ponder...the weight of this responsibility...being unmarried and pregnant.  The stigma and condemnation for a situation that didn't fit with my community...my culture.  There were many other women I knew and had seen that were so much stronger and smarter than I was.  Perhaps God had made a mistake.  But I trusted Him and knew that mistakes were not a part of His character.  In that time I knew there was nothing for me to do but pray and press deeper into my faith than ever before.  This is where I found deep peace in God...a strong connection to my Lord...and much comfort, generously poured out - preparing me for the months and years that were to come.

During that time, Joseph and I were pledged to be married and a new law had been passed that a trip to Bethlehem would be necessary to have us registered.  It was a rough trip in my condition but we had to press on.  I anticipated the length of this trip before we left...that days would turn to nights, many times over... and I would not be having this baby at home.  I trusted God had something better in store for his child...I just had to obey.

Well, the long awaited night came, and not only was I far from my home and the people I loved, but this baby was coming and NO ONE could spare a room...offer shelter...grant us with what I assumed would be provided.  I knew we just had to keep looking for the perfect spot that a Father who had provided thus far would lead us to.  As we went from place to place and found no vacancies we kept the faith that the next place would be the one...the perfect location that God had in His plan.  Then the time came where I knew the searching would have to come to an end...it was time!   A kind stable keeper saw my condition and offered me shelter in his stable.  We were truly grateful after our luck that night, but I still could not get my head around this...I felt so forgotten about, so unimportant.  Was this really what God had planned?  Didn't He know it was time for His son to be born?  Where was He in my time of need?  Where was the favour I lacked to give my son the royal welcome he deserved.  I knew my choices had run out so I did what had to be done...Jesus, the Son of God...was born in a stable.

When my son had come and I had caught my breath for a second, I looked around the barn and noticed all of the animals were quiet...and still.  A breeze came through the stable door and I felt an overwhelming sense of peace and comfort in my surroundings.  This baby was very special and the animals seemed to sense who was amongst them. When I look into this child's face, I can't help but wonder what his future will hold.  When I think about it, I realize how God's timing and His plan is not the way I would have pictured it...certainly not what I expected.  But God doesn't ask what perfection looks like to me.

In the last few days I have found strength and wisdom on a level that I have never possessed before.  We have been graced by visitors... individuals who claim to have seen choirs of angels who were rejoicing because of what has happened in this small rugged barn.  In my moments of feeling helpless and almost abandoned, God and His angels were rejoicing over us.  God's plan had come to be even if it looked like a manger... and smelled like oxen... and felt like hay.

When I look at myself and who I was and where I lived, and STILL what God chose to do through me, I truly believe that each life He has created is so very deliberate and uniquely planned out.  The purpose a humble life can serve to further His kingdom can break through barriers no man can stand up to.  His purposes are immense, His favour is abundant and His pleasure WILL be accomplished.

Now that I hold new life in my arms I am struck with this wonderful miracle.  I kept my eyes on my Maker and He touched my life with His mighty hand.  I continue to offer Him this humble gift of my small life and I wonder what more is to come...but this journey is not my own.

(see picture at http://www.pinterest.com/pin/98938523037690548/)

Releasing the Truth on Freedom...just for you!

I'm branded with His promise...in my heart...but also on my skin. 

Every time my eye catches a glimpse of it I am reminded of the buried past, the forgiven sin, the invitation of a homecoming that is all sweet without a hint of bitter.  An invitation to walk forward into a future that has always been mine to take.  He waited patiently for me.  He loved me through it all.  He breathed new life into these dry bones.  He gave me a second chance...a new life.  I found a new song...I found freedom...I found Jesus.

So what does a life of freedom really look like? 





My Friend:

have you ever walked in the valley and made it out without ever being kissed by darkness?

have you ever been graced with knowing your true identity...to know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, who you are and what your worth is.

have you ever felt free to step out of the restrictions that this world creates for you...and to know that you are enough just as you are.

have you ever been overwhelmed by peace and joy and love?

have you ever been adopted into a family of royalty?

have you ever known the truth that NOTHING (not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins, nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing) could separate you from the love of the One who seeks you... pursues you... loves you! NOTHING

have you ever found your every need met exactly when you needed it?

have you ever found true and pure acceptance for being yourself?

have you ever found true forgiveness when you didn't deserve it?

have you ever had someone die for you...so you didn't have to...so you could be free?

Freedom is knowing, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that ALL of these are for you...and freedom is tapping into them, living life consumed not only by a life of goodness, but a life kissed by a  supernatural strength and wisdom...to live as it was always intended.  Freedom to know the love of Christ and to claim it as your own!


So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose? If God didn’t hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn’t gladly and freely do for us? And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God’s chosen? Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us—who was raised to life for us!—is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ’s love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture:

They kill us in cold blood because they hate you.
We’re sitting ducks; they pick us off one by one.

None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us. I’m absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us.  

Romans 8:31-39

(see picture at http://www.pinterest.com/pin/98938523037666504/)