Your life can change in an instant. This age old truth has been impressed in my soul most recently. Perhaps this revelation reveals my lack of experience...my ignorance and immaturity. But my journey thus far has only been a brief one, and my first life altering moments are only beginning to occur.
It was a night like any other. I went to bed with only thoughts for the coming day of the same work, and the same life to be awaiting me the next morning. It still feels like a dream. When I awoke that night the most magnificent angel was in my midst...heaven touching earth...standing in my room...speaking to me! My breath escaped my body leaving me speechless and trembling. And then he spoke words I will never forget...that I was favoured by God. I still can't fathom what that means. He declared You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. I knew this moment would change all that I held dear. My plans...my life...and everything in it. I had so much to ponder...the weight of this responsibility...being unmarried and pregnant. The stigma and condemnation for a situation that didn't fit with my community...my culture. There were many other women I knew and had seen that were so much stronger and smarter than I was. Perhaps God had made a mistake. But I trusted Him and knew that mistakes were not a part of His character. In that time I knew there was nothing for me to do but pray and press deeper into my faith than ever before. This is where I found deep peace in God...a strong connection to my Lord...and much comfort, generously poured out - preparing me for the months and years that were to come.
During that time, Joseph and I were pledged to be married and a new law had been passed that a trip to Bethlehem would be necessary to have us registered. It was a rough trip in my condition but we had to press on. I anticipated the length of this trip before we left...that days would turn to nights, many times over... and I would not be having this baby at home. I trusted God had something better in store for his child...I just had to obey.
Well, the long awaited night came, and not only was I far from my home and the people I loved, but this baby was coming and NO ONE could spare a room...offer shelter...grant us with what I assumed would be provided. I knew we just had to keep looking for the perfect spot that a Father who had provided thus far would lead us to. As we went from place to place and found no vacancies we kept the faith that the next place would be the one...the perfect location that God had in His plan. Then the time came where I knew the searching would have to come to an end...it was time! A kind stable keeper saw my condition and offered me shelter in his stable. We were truly grateful after our luck that night, but I still could not get my head around this...I felt so forgotten about, so unimportant. Was this really what God had planned? Didn't He know it was time for His son to be born? Where was He in my time of need? Where was the favour I lacked to give my son the royal welcome he deserved. I knew my choices had run out so I did what had to be done...Jesus, the Son of God...was born in a stable.
When my son had come and I had caught my breath for a second, I looked around the barn and noticed all of the animals were quiet...and still. A breeze came through the stable door and I felt an overwhelming sense of peace and comfort in my surroundings. This baby was very special and the animals seemed to sense who was amongst them. When I look into this child's face, I can't help but wonder what his future will hold. When I think about it, I realize how God's timing and His plan is not the way I would have pictured it...certainly not what I expected. But God doesn't ask what perfection looks like to me.
In the last few days I have found strength and wisdom on a level that I have never possessed before. We have been graced by visitors... individuals who claim to have seen choirs of angels who were rejoicing because of what has happened in this small rugged barn. In my moments of feeling helpless and almost abandoned, God and His angels were rejoicing over us. God's plan had come to be even if it looked like a manger... and smelled like oxen... and felt like hay.
When I look at myself and who I was and where I lived, and STILL what God chose to do through me, I truly believe that each life He has created is so very deliberate and uniquely planned out. The purpose a humble life can serve to further His kingdom can break through barriers no man can stand up to. His purposes are immense, His favour is abundant and His pleasure WILL be accomplished.
Now that I hold new life in my arms I am struck with this wonderful miracle. I kept my eyes on my Maker and He touched my life with His mighty hand. I continue to offer Him this humble gift of my small life and I wonder what more is to come...but this journey is not my own.
(see picture at http://www.pinterest.com/pin/98938523037690548/)
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