Releasing the Shopaholic

I'm restless...maybe bored. Searching for something to fill the pit of want.  I dash from place to place...wildly looking.  I'm unaware that this is becoming my idol.  Instead of resting in the place that he's asked me to, I'm trying to fill the void with shopping therapy. 

 

I touch the clothes...the fibers.  They aren't mine but I will pretend for a moment.  I feel happy in this change-room bliss, filling my mind with the possibilities of something new.  Like the things I have are no longer the treasures they once were.  But I do this every week...every few days.  I promised myself to keep my money where it is and to keep my focus on Him and to stop looking outside of what I have for happiness and worth.  But some days it's hard. Discouraged I exit the automatic doors and sit on the bench that greets me outside.  I'm exhausted...from this searching...coming up empty handed.

I like pretty things...things that make me colourful or soft or a newer version of myself.  But it's an illusion...every moment reveals a new me, right where I am with just what I have.  

Want not...I say to myself.  Love what you have...your life, your dwelling, your closet...just as it is. Maybe the void that needs to be filled is the one that is stuffed packed with my own greed...to empty it out and start fresh...a different concept for something new.  To look beyond myself and give.  See the needs beyond the change-room doors...to see all the beautiful things I own and give a part of it away...to make it more beautiful...to share a part of  me with the world.  

I am more than the colour and texture I wear on my back...I am more than the label tucked in at my neck...I am hands and words and a soul that could help to fill the void of another...just by giving a part of myself away.

I look at my reflection in the store window...I am enough, I whisper.  I have all I need today.  I sit, right here and now, in His presence like He's asked me to...because there I find my worth and I am filled.

(see picture at http://www.pinterest.com/pin/98938523037358963/)