Releasing the Innate

She was obviously pregnant...body swollen...slow staggered walk...sitting every chance she could get.  Very unlike most pigeons.  She perched herself in the middle of the walkway... making a statement of the state she was in.  

He kept coming over to her... checking...maybe concerned.  Was it time?  Either way he was protective.  Puffing his feathers - warding off any visitors...coming close to her body...helping her clean off her own feathers... nurturing... protecting... standing guard.

Truth be told, I am not a fan of pigeons...in fact they annoy me and gross me out (contrary to this beautiful picture I've posted)...maybe that's part of living in the city and sharing the concrete with these winged vermin.  But truly and honestly I felt a fondness watching these two creatures interact.  This innate exchange...both accomplishing their roles...watching out for the other.  Devotion...protection of the bond.

And so what do I do with the inconsistencies all around...have winged vermin really got it figured out better than us?  This is what I see...society-ridden with infidelity...secret affairs...broken relationships...broken hearts.  When did the confusion occur? When did it become okay to dishonour a covenant...your word...your wife...your husband?  Relationships are hard...they're work.   Anything worth having is.  It's easy to lose sight of this.

As much blood sweat and tears that you shed...relationships are equally as hard as they are wonderful.  To be cherished...worked on...worked in...fulfilling...give a part of yourself... receive in exchange. Men, women...husbands, wives...when it feels hard, that's when you cherish...love...honour...search with all your might for your innate ability. In doing so you will feed not only the one you pledged yourself to, but your own soul with the light and love you've shed. It will be reflected back at you...and the reflection of light can be even more beautiful...more stunning...more intense than the light itself.  Light refined...like the sun in a mirror.

And when all else fails think of the winged vermin...they stand as a reminder...of our innate ability to honour...to care for...to live out your role.  No one taught them...they just know. 

Stop coming into agreement with the relationship destroyer...the ultimate home wrecker... the father of lies...the evil one. 

If it feels hard...press in...don't throw your hands up. You're stronger than this...stronger than you think. If it feels hard, turn to the One who can shed the light you lack...the One who's never given up on you...is true to His covenant.  He will remind you of your innate abilities... and provide you with what you may be lacking.  

Nurture...protect...stand guard.  If you dig deep, you'll find at the core, it's innately in you.

~wanna read more?  try Ephesians 5:22-33

(see pictures at http://www.pinterest.com/pin/98938523037403085/ 
http://www.pinterest.com/pin/98938523037403088/)

Releasing the Depth of Insight

This love is in my heart...deep in the core of my being.  It's beautiful when I see it clearly...when for a moment I can grasp the amazement of Christ, and the ultimate gift and that I truly am a part of this royal lineage.  But emotions run high, and brokenness is my thorn and as quickly as I'm elevated to the heights of his grace and mercy,  gravity grabs hard and chokes, tosses me as the waves.

Regardless of my reoccurring uncertain state I can know He remains as always...stable...unchanging...never failing.  Along with my heart of flesh that sings and bubbles over in jubilation, this love must also abound in knowledge and depth of insight (Philippians 1:9).  Where is my grounding force and my light when the night is black as ink?  I can't JUST be hooked on a feeling...as beautiful and soul stirring as it may be.  Mixing the properties of knowledge and insight to the vulnerability of this honey dipped heart I bear makes this love 4 dimensional.  Takes me to a level where Holy Spirit, Father God and Sweet Jesus press me from all sides molding me and moving me into the true revelation of my being...that I am flesh but not just bone, spirit but not just mystical, emotion but not just impressionable.  That I am exactly what He's made me because it brought Him delight.  That I am not a mistake, and despite my best efforts and catastrophic failures He knows my whole story...beginning to end...before any of these moments were ever breathed into life.

I can't possibly understand all that He's doing but I can remain solid on His foundation by being overcome by His relentless love paired with the knowledge of his promises, His character and His good gifts...the meat of his Word to fill me deep within.  


To dive deeper into this nourishment while pressing in to His thick fragrant presence....to ENCOUNTER the One True God is where your belief can rise beyond your momentary bliss.  Where you can praise His name in the height of abundance AND in the lions den.  Where regardless of my outward condition I can know that His life everlasting is bubbling and brimming inside this broken vessel because the depth of my insight is reaching deeper than the depth of the ocean floor.  Where the peace which passes all understanding becomes mine to claim because I truly KNOW where my worth and my identity sit...and NOTHING can change that.  When I open myself up to His still small voice leading me into his throne room, that's where heaven reaches to the depths of my world and moves me to the heights of His revelation.



(see picture at http://www.pinterest.com/pin/98938523037385958/)

Releasing the Shopaholic

I'm restless...maybe bored. Searching for something to fill the pit of want.  I dash from place to place...wildly looking.  I'm unaware that this is becoming my idol.  Instead of resting in the place that he's asked me to, I'm trying to fill the void with shopping therapy. 

 

I touch the clothes...the fibers.  They aren't mine but I will pretend for a moment.  I feel happy in this change-room bliss, filling my mind with the possibilities of something new.  Like the things I have are no longer the treasures they once were.  But I do this every week...every few days.  I promised myself to keep my money where it is and to keep my focus on Him and to stop looking outside of what I have for happiness and worth.  But some days it's hard. Discouraged I exit the automatic doors and sit on the bench that greets me outside.  I'm exhausted...from this searching...coming up empty handed.

I like pretty things...things that make me colourful or soft or a newer version of myself.  But it's an illusion...every moment reveals a new me, right where I am with just what I have.  

Want not...I say to myself.  Love what you have...your life, your dwelling, your closet...just as it is. Maybe the void that needs to be filled is the one that is stuffed packed with my own greed...to empty it out and start fresh...a different concept for something new.  To look beyond myself and give.  See the needs beyond the change-room doors...to see all the beautiful things I own and give a part of it away...to make it more beautiful...to share a part of  me with the world.  

I am more than the colour and texture I wear on my back...I am more than the label tucked in at my neck...I am hands and words and a soul that could help to fill the void of another...just by giving a part of myself away.

I look at my reflection in the store window...I am enough, I whisper.  I have all I need today.  I sit, right here and now, in His presence like He's asked me to...because there I find my worth and I am filled.

(see picture at http://www.pinterest.com/pin/98938523037358963/)

Releasing Expectations

The weight of expectation unfulfilled.  My heart bleeds and turns stone cold with resentment because you didn't come through. 

My cheeks burn red as something inside feels wounded...offended.  My eyes dart wildly to blame the culprit...point my finger and stamp my feet.  I search hard, and for a second I catch a glint from someones eye...I rush over to stare them in the face...to spread the guilt thick and tell them how heavy the disappointment presses...how deep the scars run.  How dare you inflict this pain!  I get closer and my eyes focus as I take a breath to place the blame...I see a familiar face...a reflection.  It's me.

The sticky web of expectation...of placing a need of my own in another...I get stuck in my own head, my own selfish-want and need and wounds of the past driving my expectations of today.  I'm not always aware, but I'm desperately trying to control my world and everyone in it.  My inner dialogue is fear based and only harms a party-of-one when my offences rise up and my ego convinces me this life revolves around MY need.

Working out bumps and bruises, we are all stumbling through this life.  When I hold expectation in another I am distorting the reality of our finite and marred condition.  How can any other human being heal me or save me or fill some void that lays desperately hollow...because this burning offence and deep hurt stems from a need being left unmet. I haven't been able to fill it myself and so maybe someone else can...someone I love, someone I trust...but someone who's imperfect, just like...well...ME.  We are in this whole messy life together as comrades, but certainly not as heroes or saviours.  Putting anyone on a pedestal...any pedestal... will certainly cause gravity to work against them.  

It goes without saying that kindness and love should be the gift we bring to our fellow-man, simply because we share this time and this earth together.  But if you find your teeth clenched and your back up and your soul bruised because you EXPECTED, remember that searching in hollow and empty places will leave you hollow and empty.

Lay down the offence...perhaps I have been wronged...ripped off...but it's only because I started it!    Allowing offences to fester and disappointment to rule my space harms only me and leaves little room for the need to ever be adequately filled.  

Forgiveness clears the mess and lets light flood the hollowness...lets the real Hero be the hero and the real Saviour save me from myself.

(see picture at http://www.pinterest.com/pin/98938523037320433/)

Exposing the Darkness

It's a dark cancer of the soul...it starts out microscopic, inconspicuous, and goes easily undetected until it has infected all that which is healthy and beautiful.  It's a murderer...a destroyer.  It chokes life...my life sometimes.  Crushes my inner-man...my fragile and sensitive soul...attacks the unique and beautiful character that my Maker has created in me.    Makes eyes heavy and joints ache...heart burns and head foggy...everything spins.  This dark cancer squeezes tears from it's pit of regret and sorrow.  Reminds me with a screech of rage that I'm not enough and poisons the powerhouse to the soul...sends me whirling and spinning in my head so I don't know which direction is up and I'm so disoriented I can't find the truth.

I am familiar with this enemy...this cowardly demon looking to devour my heart of flesh...pray on a soft and beautiful heart because it never had one.  Leaving it raw and exposed, poisoned with lies.  I rush to cover it...protect it...hide it...isolate it so it can't be hurt again.  Perhaps good intentions, but isolation doesn't breathe life into the soul desperately gasping for air.  If I expose this demon of the dark to the light by naming it...describing it, then it shrinks under the power of TRUTH and I can RELEASE it.

Speak your truth out loud into the light allowing healing to begin.

John 1:15 - The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

John 8:12 - When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."

(see picture at http://www.pinterest.com/pin/98938523037309313/)