Releasing the Fruit I Eat

I act surprised...even shocked.  As if I didn't see it coming...as if I'm offended by the outcome.  In the moment I made a choice...even if I wasn't aware that was what I was doing.  Even if I turned all reasoning to off, my actions are not played out in a vacuum.  Consequences are a direct result.  Do I move in my coming and going with purpose... deliberately?  Or am I walking around on auto pilot hoping for the best as I close my eyes and blaze ahead full throttle. 

I read the words out loud as they jump off the page at me...

they will eat the fruit of their ways and be filled with the fruit of their schemes 

(Proverbs 1:31)

And the fruit of my schemes today are so bitter and rotten I practically choke them up.  But even in the midst of this bitter regret, He invites me to come into his presence, brings me back into alignment, feeds me the bread of life and washes every offense...nailing each rancid piece of the puzzle to the blood stained and splintered cross that offers me another chance, a new start.

I seek and ask for wisdom...His divine and holy wisdom.  The wonder of His knowledge and understanding...that pocket where my senses feel heightened to what has been in front of me this whole time...the muck is cleared...and I'm in that sweet spot.  His Word is truth and life but somewhere along the line I have translated their meaning into a distorted version of themselves.  Making them rigid and bitter instead of the sweetness, pleasure and freedom that they bring.  Lacking wisdom has a bitter aftertaste.  

I try to live my life marching to my own drum beat...following my own rules and expecting that the outcome will be far better than what He has designed.  I step out of His order and direction and think the path will still be straight and narrow because I know what I'm doing.  I fumble around in the dark wondering why I keep falling into traps...why I get so confused and distracted.  I can't see in the dark...I can't see when I turn my back on the Light...the Truth.  His truth is the only way to be sure I can see clearly...

Your word is a lamp onto my feet and a light for my path (Psalm 119:25). So that when the path forks or takes a deep plunge into the unknown, each step...one at a time...will be lightened... enlightened... given the space and clarity that it warrants.  Space and clarity so I find the safety He intended...the health and comfort He intended...the wisdom, knowledge and understanding He intended, feeding Life to my mortal body and my immortal spirit.


1 Corinthians 10:23-24 (MSG)

Looking at it one way, you could say, “Anything goes. Because of God’s immense generosity and grace, we don’t have to dissect and scrutinize every action to see if it will pass muster.” But the point is not to just get by. We want to live well, but our foremost efforts should be to help others live well

(see pictures at http://www.pinterest.com/pin/98938523037901884/   http://www.pinterest.com/pin/98938523037901885/)

Releasing the Deep Freeze

The ice storm of 2013 cut power from hundreds of thousands of homes in southern Ontario.  This experience caused me to reflect...

The darkness sat heavy around me...and the dampness of the winter freeze threatened to creep through the piled layers and ice me from the calloused exterior to that which is vulnerable... 

Staying afloat in this undertow of blinding dark and finding my present self in this shallow breath, the abyss mocked my weak and fading spirit.  33 hours without the furnace of life...the heartbeat of my safe haven, and you start to see the true colourblindness of the dark.  All life and vibrance bleed together in the lie that this is the end...you deserve this.  Fear lives in the dark...depression lives in the dark... Satan and all his accusatory schemes live in the dark.  In my weakness, I am afraid of the dark.

But even if my flesh feels overcome and my weaknesses shamefully expose their nakedness and foul stench...I can boldly declare that I am NOT overcome!  With haste and without condition, my mighty Saviour overcomes the darkness and devours the demons threatening death.  They may claw and screech and threaten blood shed but their bark does not reflect their bite when the sword of the Righteous King has already determined their fate.

Faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see (Hebrews 11:1).   Even when I literally cannot see the step directly in front of me I can be assured by the confidence that my blindness is not where it ends...that I'm not alone in this.  No matter how dark it may appear all around me I can allow peace and joy from the TRUTH to thaw my heart and thought patterns.  

Peace is protecting my soft and warm inner-self by not indulging her in a troubled or fearful heart...and to take the power I have been given to stop the choking pattern of allowing myself to be agitated and disturbed, fearful, intimidated, cowardly and unsettled (John 14:27 AMP).

The warmth of life comes from being saved from the self-destructive patterns that allow the cold to creep in...the darkness to press in...my spirit to give in.  Saved for a new day... a new year...a new chance...a new resolution....my self-revolution...to LET GO so His light...His eternal warmth is LET IN.

(see picture at http://www.pinterest.com/pin/98938523037831184/)